It happened

Yep, we're moving territories. Over the last week or 2, after my initial temper tantrum, I've come to the conclusion that Karma will help me on this one. I've been ytrying to see the good in the move, and that has helped as well.

If you look at a map of the USA, and find I-80 which runs from Chicago, IL to Salt Lake City, Utah. You will also see that I-70 runs from St. Louis, MO to Richmond, UT. Its a big rectangle, and that is our basic new territory. Yes, there will be towns/cities slightly outside of those areas, but thats the general area.

I'm looking forward to new sites, seeing old friends (from Jr. High[8th grade]!), hiking, camping, hunting, fishing, and a variety of other things. I was born in Colorado, and lived there til I was 13. I do look forward to going there again. I've been several times, but only for a day or 3, nothing long term. I miss it. The one thing I'm not looking forward to is the cold and snow. Bleh.

So, when I get home this coming week, I'll spend time going through all of my winter clothes, seeing what still fits, and what I've 'outgrown' . It will also let me play with my new toy!

I need lots of practice, as its not romotely the same as shooting a gun, but I'm having fun working on it!

So, in conclusion, the weasel got us booted out of our plush beach digs. Karma is already coming around, though. It seems that he's received quite a bit of flack from someone (or maybe more than one) because he told us the company will pay for the UHAUL trailer we will need to haul all of our crap home. They are also paying for the hitch we have to buy that needs fitted to the car in order to pull said trailer with the Buick. He also had no problem talking about moving us before, yet now he 'doesn't want to talk about it'. So, how are things going to go at the annual meetings? I'll let you know when it happens. Until then, I'll keep playing with my new toy, buying camo clothing, and working on my plans for the final dream. Explaination of that to follow in another blog.

Change is inevitable

I don't usually mind change. I'm like most folks, as long as its for the better, I'm good with it. And I guess I should have known that, like most "too good to be true" deals, this one wasn't going to last.

I'm speaking of my job location.

Let me tell you the whole story....it gets confusing, so try to stay with me.

Lets start with 3 couples, or, better said, 3 sets of Techs. We (DH and I) will be C1, the couple that runs up and down the Mississippi River is C2, and the couple that runs the Rockies is C3. Ok, that said I'll try to explain as best I can.....

C1 starts this job in Jan,09. They are told they will have the Southern Region, which encompasses Florida all the way across to Louisiana. C1 is thrilled because this is what they were hoping for. They do a bit of training with C3 before moving down to their truck in FL. Its during this first couple of weeks in Jan that C1 learns about C3's thoughts of quitting. Wow, too bad, they were a nice team. March comes along and C3 does indeed quit. Main office decides not to hire anyone new, but to expand the territories. Ok, fine. C1 doesn't think much else about it. The Fleet Manager (FM) decides to ask C2 to move territories to the Rockies. This, in turn, expands the territories of other Techs. Still no biggie. However, unknown to C1, the FM made a deal with C2. This deal is "If you move to the Rockies, I'll get you to the Southern territory where C1 is. Now, for a whole year, FM never tells C1 of this deal, even though it involves them!!!

So, you ask, how does C1 find out? Oops! One of the morons in the office spills the beans. Now its on. C1 calls FM and says "WTF? Were you going to tell us?" FM responds "Well, its not set in stone. " ummm, well, when will it be 'set in stone?" He has no idea.

First let me say, I've left a lot of 2 hour conversations out of this blog, as its redundant information. Us pleading our case, clients here who requested us being back, our numerous letters of appreciation and kudos. Add to that the fact that DH's doctor (recall the heart attack in Feb) is here. Seemingly, it has no effect on the FM. He, nor the aformentioned morons in the office care about what the customer wants. Shuffling techs around, no matter the report with the clients. BUT....he still, after 2 weeks, refuses to give us a solid answer. We need to know! We have lots of stuff to get shipped home, wardrobe changes to make (south to the north? c'mon!) Going from the beaches to the Rocky Mountains.

Here is my problem, and its not the location. Its the fact that I feel betrayed. The dirty spineless FM made a deal and didn't bother to tell us, even though we were a key player! He did some shady dealings behind my back, after preaching all year "don't trust the people in the office. I'm the only one who you can trust, I've been in your shoes" WHATEVER. I can no more trust that sorry bastard than I can trust that bitch who gave birth to me. He keeps asking DH "Why doesn't she want to talk to me?" and his response is "Really, you don't want her on the phone, and you don't want to talk to her in person. She's pissed" That is putting in mildly. I have made the personal vow not to speak to him at all, if I can help it, during our anual meetings in January. He is spineless, gutless, nutless, and a fucking weasel. I trust no one in this company, including the techs that might be moving to our region.

We should find out something next week. I hope so, since we have 6 1/2 days (roughly) of work left at the time of this blog. I have lots of shit to ship home should this change occur. And even if we stay in this territory, I will NOT speak to that sorry ass unless its for work purposes, and even then it will probably be the DH doing the talking. Some might say "You're a coward for not speaking to him".....no, I'm saving his life. As the saying goes "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" He betrayed me, and I will kick his sorry ass should he push the matter. This isn't over by any stretch of the imagination. Don't fuck with me.

Run Away!!!!

As the days drag on in seemingly endless monotony, I find myself yearning more and more for my new life to begin. Each day in this appalling society just reinforces my need to get away from all of it. What I wanted to be a slow, learning process may very well end up being the fast track, screw the mistakes.

What I'm referring to is society and government. Before proceeding let me clarify that no politics will be discussed here, nor religion. You all don't have enough time for that.

Society here in the good 'ol USA is going in the shitter. Children of all ages becoming more and more unruly. More rude and demanding. An parents becoming more spineless by the day. "No spanking!" "No telling them they did a bad thing!" "No correction!" "All dicipline is detrimental to their fragile minds!" "Everyone makes the team, No Disappointment!" Its all making me very ill.

How will our children deal with the disappointment of not landing a job? Or getting a low grade in school? Or not being accepted to their favorite college? If we don't help them now, how in the hell will they handle it?

Another issue is dicipline. I've discussed this before, and will continue to rant about it. Children running wild like a pack of rabid dogs in the streets. Children telling the parents what to do....demanding what they want, and getting it. Children being so defiant I'm surprised they haven't been killed. Its unbelievable.

I know, I've ranted about children before. But this is different. I don't understand how people who were raised with dicipline, and guidance feel the need to let their children do as they please. How will they learn? I don't want to know. I am going through each day with my goal of off the grid solitude firmly in the forefront of my brain. I damn sure don't want these little retards taking care of me or my country when I get old. I can take care of me, as for the country, well, nothing I can do about that. Am I putting my head in the sand? No. I am looking out for myself and my family. I can guarantee you that should a crisis come to the Earth, I will know how to survive without my computer, cell phone, and car. I will know where eggs come from, how to cook for myself over a fire, how to build a house and raise livestock. I will know that carrots don't come off a shelf, but out of the ground. I will know the skills to survive. I will outlive these heathin children, these spawn of technological laziness, these poor saps of their spoiled life. In part, I feel sorry for them, because they don't know any better. But again, its not my issue. Let them fight it out, let them tease those of us who know the old skills. Who is going to be begging for help, shelter, food, and guidance when shit hits the fan? They will.....will I assist? If they prove worthy, yes. Bratty? Hell No.

So call me running away, I call it survival.

Friends

Webster's dictionary defines FRIEND as "One attached to another by affection or esteem". This to me seems a bit vague, but then again, its the 'general' definition. It doesn't specify "good" friend, or "best" friend. And truthfully, I'm not sure I know the definition for those. I do, however, know that sometimes I'm a shitty friend. I also know that I have a hard time keeping them, for one reason or another, of which I have yet to figure out.

Here is what I believe :

I believe a true friend will keep in contact with you. Call, write, text, email, etc., once a week or so. Not just whenever they find the time. I believe a true friend will talk to you about anything, and listen to whatever you have to say. They will stand by you, and have your back in any situation.

Friends are not to be treated as an option. They should be treated with respect, and love. Never should you disregard a friend, or believe they are less than you. Respect their ideas, and their life.

Time does many things. It can strengthen a friendship, or tear it apart. Friends from the past can change over time, and if you haven't had the priviledge of growing together, it may seem as a shock. They aren't the person you once knew. Not even close. Sometimes, its for the better, most times, not so. So what to do? What do you do when a reunion fails? Or seems fake? You move on, Be glad this person was/is in your life, enjoy their company when they offer it, but don't ever count on it. Don't count on them. Keep close your true friends. They are the ones that will carry you through.

I have been working hard to improve my friendship skills. Making time to stay in contact, even just to say Hello. Sometimes I fall short, and I apologize to those I have let down, or left hanging. I say to those who have stood by me through those rough times, a heart felt THANK YOU. You are my true friend, my best friend.

this blog is dedicated to The Handler

I am

**I am better than you think

**I am not what most people believe me to be

**I am true to my roots, and more

**I am world wise

**I am more than what most remember

**I am not what some have made me out to be

**I am loud

**I am sometimes silly

**I am a lover of animals

**I am a believer in what is fair

**I am open-minded

**I am short-fused

**I am determined

**I am sometimes lazy

**I am not a whore, or a liar, as some like to think

**I am not stupid

**I am adventurous

**I am a lover of getting dirty, gardening, and reading

**I am sometimes impatient

**I am for fighting for what is right

**I am not for useless violence

**I am a master of the game

**I am a mom

**I am a biker

**I am a strong woman

**I am afraid of snakes

**I am a farmer, a hunter, and a fisher

**I am a cook

**I AM MANY THINGS--------MORE THAN YOU BELIEVE

No regrets

Recently I posted on my FaceBook page that I have no regrets, just disappointments. And that is true. I never regret anything I've done in my life. Its all been a learning experience. Some are good, and some aren't so good. I learned with one of my most recent experiences that although people change, sometimes its not for the better. Or, its not quite what you expected.

I knew that 20 years would change a person. I figured they would grow with their life; mature yet stay with their root personality. I figured there would still be some of the 'same 'ol person' still showing through. But sadly, this was not the case. Instead I found something different all together.

I found a moody, and seemingly selfish and disconnected person. They didn't want to hear any of what I had to say, and would be so obvious about it. Not looking at me, not answering questions, or just flat out walking away in mid-sentence. Yet would proceed to beat a topic into the ground when they were talking. They were right, of course, due to their college education. Nevermind the real world experience I was speaking from. How I stood witness to what I was talking about, meant nothing. And they wouldn't let it go....hours later, they would come to me still driving home their point, or their 'knowledge'. I blew it off. I chose to let it go.

I felt as if they were trying to instigate a heated debate, or argument with me, and I refuse to do this. I've known this person for 25 years. Or so I thought. I actually have only known them for 4 years. The other 21 are a mystery. I'm not sure what happened to that original individual, but they are lost. I think they have chosen to forget that part of their life. And that is fine, but to completely change your personality? *sigh* Its sad.

I didn't want a lecture on things I already knew about. I know what I'm getting into with the events in my life, and just because you choose not to like the same things I like, or have the lifestyle I have, or are choosing to leave all aspects behind, does not mean you should tell me what I can or can't do, what I do or don't like, or that there is no way I could or should do things. I find that very aggravating. Disheartening even. Not what I expected, or wanted. *double sigh*

All I can say is......

Damn.

Drama

I hate it.

Ever notice when you're trying to just go along, live you life, and mind your own business, DRAMA seems to follow you around like an annoying fly? It does to me. Just when I thought "Ok, I've got this pretty cool job that has me away from home, and away from the drama" BAM! Here it is!! DRAMA!!! ggggrrrr

I just wish that people would get the help they need (mentally) and realize their pathalogical lieing does nothing but make them look bad. It hurts their children. Their denial only makes it all worse. If you are told not only by a professional but also by your boss that you need therapy, then I'd say you need therapy. Yet, you insist that nobody knows what they are talking about. You show no remorse for your actions, no concience for those you hurt. You don't care about anyone but you. You SAY you care about your child, but its all a front to make you look like the good person. You'll do anything, and say anything to make yourself look good. And you don't stop there, oh no. You continuously bash those who you can't control, those that you believe have betrayed you, those who have a different opinion or who have the ability to prove your every move and lie to be wrong. Those who throw reality in your face are immediately condemmed to hell, told they are wrong, and then threatened with bodily harm. You then proceed to accuse them of atrocities that do not fit their character at all. And you also bash and spread rumors about anyone they associate with. Anyone who does not believe you, or conform you your lies and your lifestyle.

All of this, you bring on me. You seem to think that I am a complete idiot and naive to your ways. I have known you since the day you were born....32 years to be exact. I have watched you scheme and lie against me. I have watched you plot your ways, plot against people, including me. I've bore witness to your manipulation of your elders. One you have swayed to the point of no return. Another I believe I have made to see your ways, your lies, and your deception. I can only hope.

I have pushed you out, and yet you believe that "all is ok" only because I show concern for your child. You lie to me at every turn. Well, keep lieing. Keep thinking that I am stupid and that I believe your lies. Karma has a way of coming around, and it will find you. Of that I am certain.

So, until that time, I must sit and endure the drama. *Where is that damn private island when I need it?*