Who am I?

I swear, I write better blogs in my head before falling asleep than I do the next morning when I'm actually able to type them out. I had a great one last night, and will try to duplicate it here....

I've noticed that these last few years, and especially this one, that I've done a lot of inner thought. Here's what I've come up with so far....

I am human, with feelings and thoughts. I am not a religious person, not affiliated with any religious group. This does not devoid me of having the same thoughts and emotions of anyone else.

I am not afraid of doing things alone. I am content with my own company, but this doesn't mean I don't enjoy getting together with friends.

I am extremely sarcastic, most people confuse that with bitchiness. This, in turn, keeps me from having 'normal' friendships.

I am harsh. I shoot from the hip, and again, this keeps me from having the typical girlfriends that most women have.

I love taking a nap. I see no problem with a pause in the middle of the day to re-energize.

I am solar. I do way better on sunny days to get things done. But cloudy rainy days are good for naps!

I might be crazy, I might not be. Depends on who you ask.

I have eclectic taste in everything...music, food, activities, home decor, tv, and people. I love to ride my horse as much as a Harley. I like having my garden as much as I like eating a pizza.

I am hyper, and I am lazy.

I can drink a beer with friends as easily as I can drink a soda with my son.

I have no patience for people. Limited patience for animals. Although I have learned to slow down thanx to my farm.

I miss lots of things from my past, but look forward to events of my future.

I have no regrets.

I do not tolerate deceite, lies, conning, sneaking, and theft. I do not believe in taking advantage of family.

I am, at times, too trusting of people.

I do everything I can to help friends. I will give all I can, but usually get screwed.

I have many things I'd like to do, but don't forsee doing them.

I believe in past lives.

Some things I have a hard time letting go of.

I keep a lot of things deep inside.

I'm into weird, childish things like fantasy books and movies. I believe there is another world within ours that we are either kept from seeing or just refuse to acknowledge.

I am many things, and nothing at the same time.

No Sympathy

Big rant here.....

Last night I was watching Dateline NBC with Ann Cury. She was profiling poor families in America, and her team had been following several families for 9 months. I only felt any sympathy for 2 people on the whole show, and I'll tell you why.

One woman had quit a good job and moved herself and 4 kids into her parents' home to help take care of her father. In doing so, she was unable to find work after her father passed and thus lived in poverty in her mother's home. Ok, at first I thought "wow, sacrifice", that is until I saw her whip out a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. She'd been crying about how it was so hard to keep her kids fed, how they lived in filth because it was just so hard. This after they showed how her brother had lost his house and decided to bring his entire family to mom's house as well. Now, why in the hell would he do that? We're talking about a small 2 bedroom home. And its not like they tried to keep things clean, or help out. No, one woman (the daughter) did everything. Fourteen people living off of mom's social security check. Again, I thought about feeling sorry for them, until she was smoking and her sister in law was weighing in at well over 400lbs, sitting on the couch, dirty, slugging Pepsi out of a 2 liter bottle. Oh no, I don't feel sorry for any of them, except the kids who have no choice.

Another woman they profiled ran a food pantry. I did feel bad for her. She was trying to help so many people, and it just seemed they were taking advantage of the situation. Extremely obese people standing in line to get food, laughing and carrying on like they were at the grocery. In the final month when she thought the pantry would have to close she received a check from 2 people to help her out. Its sad she is doing a good thing for people who truly need her and she is getting taken advantage of. Seems thats how people in this country have decided to live....take advantage of those who try to help.

Another man, whom I did have sympathy for, had 2 sons. I believe the mother had basically walked out. Anyway, he was layed off from a job he'd had for 15 years and couldn't find work. He lost his house, and a neighbor allowed him to live in a run down house he had. All he had to do was pay utilities. HA! This man had no money, thus no utilities. He got his water from a creek and boiled it on a wood stove that was in the house. Being winter time, he would wake every 3 hours to keep the stove hot so his boys wouldn't be cold. They recycled cans, newspapers, bottles, etc. He flat out said "Even if I could find something in another state, I would go immediately go, but how would I get there?" He had makeshift beds for all of them, and bought food with the money he got from his recycled items. They had no TV, no cell phones, nothing. He's still out there with no job.

I can keep going.....but my point is this: Don't cry about being poor and live in a shack when you're wearing a gold chain around your neck, your kid has a cell phone, and your neighbor has a pool (inflatable or not. ) and you're watching TV while drinking soda. I don't care if you are living in a run down camper.

I've said it many, many times before. Things are going to hit the fan and soon....people like this will NOT survive, simply because they rely on handouts, instead of developing skills. I don't know much, but I'm working on it. I can grow food so my family doesn't starve. I know how to make do with nothing and not freeze to death or live in squalor.

I have no sympathy for people who refuse to try to help themselves.

Although not much is going on here at G Bar J Farms, I'm still busy. I took some veggies to the Farmer's Market and made $55, so I was happy about that, despite sitting in the rain through it all, ha! We also got a hog processed so I'm working on canning the meat from that. Its not hard at all, just time consuming.

In other news DH was looking around on the internet and found a beautiful Belgian draft horse team for sale. They are in Wisconsin :( but not out of the picture just yet. The owner is willing to do some trading for them, and I think I can accommodate him in that regard. First I need to sell the horse I have. Today might be the day....if not I'll probably take her to the sale barn. That would be at the first of Aug. I've got a friend that will help me with that. In fact, she wants to ride her today. I'll be taking the horse to her house which is about an hour up the road. She has a few other horses, and she's planning on us riding this afternoon. Not sure what will come of it all, but I'll at least get to ride with someone. :)

The draft team is multi-functional. They can plow, pull, and be ridden. They are 17.2 hands high (5ft 8in ) at the shoulder. Thats as tall as me just at the back!! WOO! I don't know though.....I have to be careful and not get too excited.

In other news, I've decided that the person that had Ben while I was gone turned him into a vegetarian. Sounds funny, but he'd rather eat green beans and tomatoes that a slab of meat. Can you believe it? I don't know what to do with him. I guess I should be glad he's at least eating his dog food.

The potbelly pigs have recovered from their castration. You wouldn't know there had ever been an issue. DH dug a small trench in their pen and lined it with a tarp. We filled it with water (its only about 4 inches deep) and presto! Piggy Pool!! They loved it so much they promptly peed and pooped in it, HA! Oh well, they play in it, put mud in it, and generally enjoy it, so I don't care. I need to change out the water, but thats no issue.

There has been more rain here. In the last 24 hours we received 4 inches of rain and of course that caused lots of flooding. Things here are swampy. Just when I thought we'd get a break, it looks like it will rain again today. *sigh*

On another topic I'm really enjoying my new found friendships. How great is it to not have to feel belittled all the time? Awsome!! To chat with someone who loves playing in the dirt, who isn't scared to have a good time, who isn't prissy, and who is secure enough in their faith that they aren't worried about mine??? Again, Awsome!! She is fine with her beliefs, and knows mine....she doesn't feel threatened, and I don't either. In her mind/heart, she believes in the Christian God, and doesn't feel that she has to prove anything, or gain "points" to get to heaven, nor does she feel that I make her "walk" difficult. As I said, she is very secure in her belief, and doesn't judge or dump people for not believing the same. Its great! I'm quite happy to have found her after all these years, and I really think this happened for a reason. People in my past are there for a reason, and as much as I wish I could keep the old memories and not have the now tainted ones, it was a lesson learned and as I've always said....Life Happens.

Just Rambling

No real story to tell, just rambling about the things going on here.

The 6 kits (baby bunnies) have all died. The strongest one died yesterday, and I believe he caught a cold from his mom. She's had a snotty nose since she got here, and he had the same thing when he died. I think mom might have to go as well, she is not getting better and I don't need her making the others sick.

New additions to the farm are 3 pot belly pigs. They were all boars when we got them, and since the DH castrated them they are now called 'barrows'. I had no idea until he told me. Speaking of DH, he found a job! He's hauling livestock and seems to be liking it...as much as anyone can enjoy working.

The chickens are getting more and more brave these days. They are so used to getting food from me that they follow me around like a pack of dogs. Its gotten to where I have to literally wade through them just to get across the yard. The Guinea keets (chicks)are getting big and really stretching their wings.

The garden is doing fair. The tomatoes are really getting going, and the corn is coming around as well. The weeds are doing better! I'm still getting a fair amount of green beans, and plan on taking those and some tomatoes to Farmer's Market.

Yesterday was the hottest day on record. I don't know what the world is doing as far as Mother Nature is concerned, but its definitely raising a ruccus . We've had rain more this year than in the past, tornadoes and earthquakes all over the world. Crazy hot and cold spots, typhoons, hurricanes, etc. On top of all that, the human element has got things going from bad to worse, and now we're finding out about hidden agendas withing the governments. I swear every day that goes by I see more and more and wonder when it will all collapse. I just hope we're ready.

Other things in my life.....as you all know I had a complete falling out with a friend from high school. I don't regret that at all, as it was a learning experience for me of how people change, and what life and what a corrupt religion will do to a person. But Karma has a way of doing things, and that person has since been replaced by someone whom I never spoke to in high school, but seem to have a lot in common with. She is down to earth, honest, and from what I'm seeing so far, will prove to be a way better friend than the other person ever was. There's no competition, or need to be in charge. She's not the type to have to always be right, or always be better, she is who she is and she's happy with life. She enjoys her family, a good beer, being outside, and camo! LOL We have way more in common that we ever knew, and I think a lot of that has to do with how our lives have gone over the last 20 years. In a nutshell, I'm happy we're chatting and getting to know each other. Sadly, we live over 1,000 miles apart, so I'm still stuck sitting here alone. But its better than no friends at all. And I'll ALWAYS have my best friend, no matter how far away he is.

I think there has been a breakthrough!

As most of you know, I've recently (within the last couple of months) got my Mastiff, Ben back. For the first few weeks, he had a pooping problem, but that remedied itself once I got him on a regular feeding schedule. After he got 'straightened out', he began not eating. I am a stickler for a feeding schedule with all my animals, so when he wouldn't eat at his scheduled time, I would leave it out, simply because I didn't want him getting sick. He would sometimes eat but many times wait til supper time. So, after consulting with my best friend/fellow dog handler, we decided to start giving him a time limit. So far it seems to have worked, as now he eats as soon as I put it down for him. So ok, that is hopefully solved.

The other issue I had was his brain being mush. When he left here he was a social, yet semi-independent dog, with a great physical presence. Upon his return, (he was neutered while gone) his skin hangs on him, he has little energy, is clingy, and seems to have no brain. Its as if he had little stimulation while gone, so we're having to start over. I told the DH last night, we're going to start at the beginning. Basically square one, as if he was a puppy and just start over. We'll see how that goes.

And finally, the good news....I've been working with him around my livestock, mainly my chickens. It only took one day to get him to understand that the goat was not food, but the chickens are a different story. I've been tieing him out when I let the chickens out to free range, but I've been slowly introducing him to the flock. He does remember the "leave it" command, and each time we go outside I've kept him close to my side. We've been walking through them, and I've been making him sit and stay while they wandered close by. Yesterday he walked, unattended yet supervised, from the deck to the garden, (about 100 feet) through the flock and didn't miss a beat. He really did great! This morning was even better. While I was doing all of the chores (feeding, watering, changing rabbit bedding, etc) he was wandering around as usual. He went up on the deck (he does this to tell me he's done with his 'business') and so I decided to let the chickens out. While I was tieing out the goat, Ben decided to lay down with his head on the top step. As I approached the deck, I noticed the chickens gathered around the bottom of the stairs, but especially one chicken on the step just below the top step. It was pacing back and forth in front of Ben, and he just laid there, as if watching a parade. I was so proud!

I'm not throwing all of my trust in him, he will still be supervised while outside, but this is an awsome breakthrough for him. I'm hopeful!

In other news, DH has got a couple of job leads, one driving a truck cross country, the other is more recent....working for a trucking company but driving local. He would be working nights, taking a truck to St. Louis and getting it loaded (and doing a few other dock work chores) then bringing that same truck back for the day shift guy to take and deliver what DH loaded. He would work a 12 hour shift, get paid by the mile to drive down and back, then get paid by the hour for his dock time. He would work Monday - Friday, weekends off, and home every day. I don't like the night shift thing, but its a job and a paycheck I can actually count on. A steady check and I'll see the same amount each week, allowing me to actually budget and save. That alone is worth it.

Things here have been hectic. After my son's visit, which makes me realize how different his world is from mine, I really got after the garden. Things have finally been dry enough for me to get out there and get work done. One of our rabbits, whom we were hoping was pregnant, wasn't. We are now watching another one who is "supposed" to be preg. Should be next week when she kindles. The other 2 that we thought were preg I don't think are. So, we'll see what happens. I've got several broody hens, but I'm pulling the eggs because I don't think our roo is really doing his job, lol. On a good note, the keets are growing nicely! They are testing their wings and the hens are keeping an eye on them.

Ok, now for bad news. DH is unemployed. He applied for a different trucking job, and they called and said "Ok, come up to Ft. Dodge and we'll put you through 4 days of orientation, then you'll get your rig and drive home"....so he quit his old job and I drove him the 4 hours to the office. Two days later he calls to tell me to come get him....WHAT??? Seems this isn't an orientation, but a PRE-SCREENING!!! Seriously? Oh yeah, he had to go through a series of tests, and he was passing with flying colors until it came to the sleep study. They sent him to his motel room with a breathing monitor and told him to wear it to bed. We knew he had sleep apnea, and sure enough, he failed this test. This completely disqualified him, unless of course, he spends a serious amount of $$$ on a sleep study. We're talking over $1,000. Needless to say, he was pissed. They also told him that his optimal weight for his height was 189 pounds....are you kidding me????

So anyway, he is now on the hunt for a job. A few prospects, but nothing confirmed yet. *sigh*

In other news the garden is doing well. I'm trying my hand at drying seeds to replant next year. If I can get that skill down then I won't have to ever buy seeds again. Peas are done, green beans are coming in nicely, and I'll be digging the last of the potatoes probably today. Then the long tomato season will be here, and my days will be spent hovering over the canner and strainer. How many different ways can I prepare a tomato? LOL I also need to get to work on more deer jerky, make and can some soup (using more deer meat), and hopefully get some rabbits raised for butchering. I also need to get this damn horse sold. I'm hoping to have a buyer. This woman is into mules, and needs a good broodmare, which is exactly what Royalty is good for. She is impossible to ride anymore, even for a seasoned rider. So I'll hopefully find out this weekend if they want her or not.

Nothing else really going on here, so I'll just say hope everyone is having a good year...its half over already!!!!