The difference 10 years can make....

Its amazing what a difference a decade can make. But for this blog, I'm going to refer to it more loosely, and say 6-10 years. I say this because it is in those 4 years that people in that generation apart from me show a significant difference in attitude and morals. Let me explain....

Ten years can mean the difference in The Great Depression and a boost in funds because of WW II. Ten years is the difference between Cassette tapes and CDs. Ten years can mean the difference between putting leaded gasoline in our cars, and non-leaded ethanol. Ten years can be cars made of steel, or cars made of fiberglass. Ten years can be creating your own entertainment, and the home PC. Get the picture? Ten years is a LOT of time folks. And that, well, the 6-10 year reference, is what brought me to this particular blog. It started out about 2 weeks ago in my head, and was nothing but tidbits of a major rant. Thats right, a complete 'bitch-fest'. But I kept fighting against it. Then a good friend sent me an email, asking how I was doing since I hadn't blogged in awhile. And that got me going again. Thinking, brooding, deciding. Again, it was a complete whiner blog about all things that piss me off. But after working in the garden, walking on the treadmill, and taking the dogs for a walk, I've worked it into the following "words of wisdom" ....if you want to call them that.

You see, there are very few people in my life that are older than me that are of any signifigance. My father and a select group of others are all that matter to me. I was taught at an early age 'respect your elders' and 'do what you're told'. Fair enough. No, I haven't always done what I've been told, I figure at the age of 37 I can do what I damn well please. But I HAVE ALWAYS respected my elders. I have NEVER asked them for help or advice with the intention of doing it my own way. To me, that is a waste of my time and theirs...a waste of knowledge better bestowed on someone willing to listen. After all, our elders have 'been there done that'. I do not call them up bitching and whining about how my life is so hard, and why is life so unfair, and all the other silly crap that plagues our youth these days. And just for reference, YOUTH = anyone 6 years or more younger than me.

Time and again I get baraged with a phone call or email of our 'youth' in some sort of drama. I will not name names, it consists of both family and friends of all aquaintence levels. I also get calls of "can you help me?" in which case I always do, because that is the way I was raised. You help people in need. Another little tidbit that has escaped our 'youth'. Call me 'old fashioned', but I was taught that if you want help, expect to one day return the favor. In fact, ASK when you can return the favor...GO OUT OF YOUR WAY to help people, because you just NEVER KNOW.

I have also learned through the years that you should never ask the question you don't want to hear the answer to. Boy is that the truth. So why...WHY do people call me, write me, IM me,etc, with questions when they could really care less about my answer???? Why are you wasting my time??? And then....THEN...why do you call me later, whining because things aren't working out? or things didn't go like you thought? IF YOU WOULD HAVE LISTENED TO ME, YOU WOULDN'T BE WHINING!!! Do I actually tell them that?? No, I don't. I get so many excuses, and even the "I don't know why I did that"...well DUH!!! HELLO IN THERE!!! Do you honestly expect me to have sympathy, when you can't take responsibility for your own freakin actions??? NO!!!! You scream that you are miserable in your (school, life, relationship, marriage, house, car, etc). NOT MY ISSUE!! Or how about when you KNOWINGLY are in a position of self destruction?? When you are KNOWINGLY causing yourself hurt/pain?

My son once said to me "Mom, it hurts when I poke right here." My response? "Well, son, don't poke right there." End of discussion.

Our 'youth' is so wrapped up in petty bullshit, and anything that makes 'drama'. I know people who claim in one breath to hate it, but in the next breath say 'but it makes me stronger'...BULLSHIT. It makes you selfish and self centered. You want to gain strength? Go help the hungry, the poor, the sick. Go live on the streets for 10 years. Join the military and travel the world to some of its poorest countries. Go to war. Go to a place where your life is on the line every time a car pulls up to your post. Be in a relationship where you actually stand up for yourself, and not just take whatever you can get. Strength comes from wisdom, and if you aren't wise enough to get yourself out of the bad situation you are in, then in my eyes you are weak. I have no tolerance for that. People tell me all the time "I am a strong person", when the whole time they are KNOWINGLY in a situation that makes them the 'lesser' person, because they are too weak to take a stand. The are afraid of the outcome, afraid they might have to stand on their own and move on with their lives. Trust me people, the world keeps moving whether you are in it or not. It doesn't care if you bought the wrong car, married the wrong person, hate your in-laws, or are being treated badly by your parents, spouse, bf/gf/partner, your dog, or your co-workers. We each have the power to get ourselves out of the unhappiness we are in. We made choices, and if we stand behind our choices, and stand up for ourselves, then we are strong. But if we make a choice, and then back down for fear of retrobution, lonliness, outcasting, or being 'unloved', then we are weak. I just wish the 'youth' would listen. As elders, we are not telling you these things because we are old fashioned or out of touch. We are telling you these things because we want you to be strong....stronger than us. But how can you be when you won't heed our advice? How can you be strong, when all the people in your life see is you making a decission and then going back on it? What type of trust does that build? NONE.

Respect, trust, gratitude, and sticking to your guns is what life is about. And somehow, in the last 6-10 years, those things have gone away. Wow, the difference 10 years can make.....