BLACK FRIDAY....the day after Thanksgiving when stores reduce the prices of their merchandise deeply for pre-Christmas sales. Stores open early (4am is the earliest so far) and people wait in line for hours to get in and get the 'limited supply' merchandise. Mostly its electronics, but some toys are included, and clothes as well. The problem is people get hurt. The huge rush of people trying to get in the store ends in serious injuries, and in some cases death. One woman died at the WalMart rush, a pregnant woman was seriously injured, and some employees were injured as well. To me, that is just crazy. One woman was injured trying to help one who was getting trampled. I'm sorry, but that is pure, blind greed at work. When you don't realize or don't care that you are stomping on another human being is ludicrous. But I digress...
The original reason for this post was to talk about another reason I reference BLACK FRIDAY. Let me start by saying that no matter how hard you try, you really cannot prepare yourself emotionally for some things. One example for me was when my Grandmother died 6 years ago. I knew it was coming...she had been going downhill for over a year and the prognosis was not good at all. But when I got the call, I was crushed. I thought I had prepared myself, but it was such a blow that I wasn't sure how to handle it.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that no matter who you are...a Monk who meditates for hours to prepare for life, or an Illusionist of any sort, you are still making people see something that really isn't there. For me, its strength. Not all of my emotional strength is an illusion, but on occassion, it is.
November 28th, however, was a total meltdown of any strength, real or otherwise, that I might have had. November 28th I sadly had to put my 2 Giant Schnauzers to sleep. Now before all of the animal rights advocates get crazy, or anyone else decides to jump on some sort of weird bandwagon lecture, let me explain.
First, GS don't have a long life span, and they were already 7 years old. Second, this new job that the DH and I are taking is absolutely NO PETS. Third, both dogs were trained in personal protection, and to sell them or place them with someone who doesn't know the breed or their training is just asking for a lawsuit. They would get bit, and I can't live with that. The few people who are into that type of dog don't want one that is so old. So you see, I had no choice.
We called the vet out earlier in the week, had the hole dug in the back yard, and I thought we both had prepared ourselves emotionally. Wrong. It was awful. The vet was great about it all, he had wonderful 'bedside manner' so to speak and seemed to understand our situation and our emotions. He kept us talking about different things, and didn't hang around too long, but didn't just up and leave, either. But let me tell you....once he was gone, and we had to put them in the hole and fill it, that is when we lost it. DH went and got the tractor (the hole was huge) while I began with a shovel and rake. I cried...LOUD. I apologized to them both, and told them how much we loved them despite all of the crazy things they had done. DH arrived with the tractor, and I had to open the gate to the back yard to let him in. It was then that any composure I had left was gone. See, whenever someone drove up, they barked. This time, there was no barking. DH got the majority of the dirt pushed back in, and left again. I raked, and put the sod back in place. once DH arrived back at the house, we just hugged. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I tried doing other things....I emptied their water buckets, picked up their food bowls, and cried even more. DH finished up the dirt, and as we put the yard tools back in the shed, I told him..."no barking". All he could do was nod, and I went to the house.
Later on, we couldn't stand it anymore so we showered and went out to eat. We both had to have a distraction, and that worked out nicely. We were to bed early, the emotional drain had just wiped us out, not to mention we had been up since 3am to go shopping. We both woke at about 6.30am, and I said "you know, when I went outside to unplug the Christmas lights, I didn't hear him come out of his kennel...it killed me."...that is when the DH replied "I lost it completely when I heard you close the kennel gates, that familiar squeak. It just killed me." We both agreed it was the little sounds that you never think about that we will miss. I also find myself, out of habit, walking by a back window and looking out to see what they are doing. But its empty. Today we spent the day away from the house for the most part. Obviously we can't do that everyday, but I think it just helps us cope in our own way.
So as you can see, it was BLACK FRIDAY in more ways than one.
Elite von Elberfeld 21 May 2001 - 28 Nov 2008
Harras vom Haus Boskens (Carlo) 21 Oct 2001 - 28 Nov 2008
Rest In Peace, and we will see you at the Rainbow Bridge.
2 comments:
Awww hon, I'm so sorry you had to put the dogs to sleep, but, I have to say, you really did do the right thing. As you say, they were trained in personal protection & to put them in a strange family or setting after you leave is literally a recipe for disaster. I sympathise hon, I really do. Think back on the good times you had with them tho. I had to have our Staffordshire Bull Terrier put to sleep when I came to live here. I took him to the vets, held him in my arms & cried like a baby....all the time apologising to him. I had no option though, as his brand (any bull terrier family) are banned here. I look at his photo often tho' & I smile when I think of the places he got to see, the tricks he got up to & his chronic obsession with his indestructible ball :-).
*hugs*
Thank you so much Jayne for your well wishes and understanding. Most people don't understand, even after saying "they just can't go to another family"...for goodness sakes, the male bit ME!! It took 2 years for him to get to where I could feed him without so much as a growl. So it was very sad that we had made that progress, only to have it gone.
I am like you, I will look at their pictures often and remember them with fond memories. Everything happens for a reason, and this is just one more bump in the road....we'll be fine, its just a rough bump is all.
Thanx again for your sympathy.
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